Verizon completed the FIOS upgrade yesterday after literally an entire day of their techs waiting around. Just after 5:00pm, the five static IPs were assigned and the tech was able to program the router.
In order for that all to happen, I had to cancel the FIOS TV and Phone service. The manager there told me to call him at his office on Monday so he can put it all back through. The problem is that they don't really like to do FIOS Static + FIOS TV at a residence. They do it for businesses all the time, and they have done it for residences before. Given that I'm paying for business-level broadband service at $99 a month, that is silly (the management agrees).
On the upside, the FIOS internet service is blazing fast. I'm getting over 15k down and 1.8k up. That's 10 times the download speed of my older DSL and almost 3 times the upload speed. I'll see how it does over time and whether or not load in the neighborhood affects it like it does cable.